Your soul knows the geography of your destiny and the map of your future. Trust this side of yourself. It will take you where you need to go but it will also teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey ― John O'Donohue, Book of Celtic Wisdom

As we get closer to leaving the excitement, anticipation and fear grow. Yesterday we hiked 13.5 miles in town. It wasn't too hard but we were tired at the end.

Walking let us appreciate the pleasant scenery all around Charlotte, that you don't see in a car. Including the new Romare Bearden Park, in Uptown Charlotte. 
A little ditty about Bearden;  he was an African-American artist and writer. He worl media including cartoons, oils, collage. Born in Charlotte, North Carolina, Bearden moved to New York City at a very young age and went on to graduate from NYU in 1935. He began his artistic career creating scenes of the American South. Later, he endeavored to express the humanity he felt was lacking in the world after his experience in the US Army during World War II on the European front. He later returned to Paris in 1950 and studied Art History and Philosophy at the Sorbonne in 1950.

 On our last loooooong walk we made a few stops for refreshments and lunch. I am pictured below at our last stop, where Vic indulged in yogurt.

I started this blog to explore my spirituality and to understand myself and my strong call to walk the Camino. As time gets closer, I am glad that I started the blog. Glad that I did some personal exploration and glad that family and friends supported me. 

Now what I know is this;

I want to walk this walk for me.
I want to spend time outdoors, in silence or at least “quiet time”.
I want to truly disconnect from my over connected world
I want to walk this demanding challenge, with my husband, and seek to strengthen our relationship, on our 13^th anniversary.

In addition that those goals here are my random thoughts before starting....

I trust that it will work
I’m looking forward to toast, jelly, & café con leche.  

I can’t believe that the Spanish have never heard of peanut butter! They like nuts, yogurt, and always some sort of chocolate in the afternoon for energy. Well that’s ok… 
I know that keeping hydrated is very important. 

Water, water everywhere. 

“Take plenty of water and refill your water bottles or reservoir throughout the day. 2-3 liters of water a day is what’s recommended.  At first it feels like trying to drown yourself, but dehydration along the Camino sneaks up on you.  You don’t feel thirsty, you don’t think you need it, and more water means having to pee more often.  But over and over again we were reminded – by wise counsel along the way or by our own bodies – that water is essential and not to be taken lightly.  "

We’re baptized in water because it is life-giving.


the Camino. MY Camino

With all the walking I’ve done, reading,and  meeting with our local Camino group, I’m done with my preparation.  I’m ready.   Ready.  

This doesn’t mean there won’t be any surprises, frustrations, disappointments or plans gone awry. In fact, I guarantee that there will be some of that.   I think the Camino is like life:  **** happens. 

And the test of my Camino is how I will deal with the unexpected, where I find God in it all, and whether or not I have prepared to be flexible enough to live MY Camino.  I want to approach this walk with flexibility

and faith.

Buen Camino,   Vaya con Dios!

Experienced travelers know that most of the time, no matter how tightly their itinerary is planned or how much they read about where they’re going, the most memorable moments will be the unexpected.

I am ready!

Introspection:

An examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings.

A reflective look inward

I was fortunate this week to spend time, at the beach, with my girlfriends. This is a group of strong, smart and loving women that have been very close friends for over 25 years. We have been through many life events, good and bad, together. One friend in particular is my “best friend”. We are soul sisters. We have known each other for more than 33 years. She is the one person I can call anytime, any where, tell anything to and never be judge, only loved. We were once roommates and now live thousands of miles apart. But our dear friendship has survived and thrived.

This friend was diagnosed with cancer last year. Through the year we shared many, many  phone calls. We shared information on treatment options (I am a oncology nurse), fears, tears, anger and encouragement. She is now well over one year out from her diagnosis. This group of friends wore a green bracelet that reminded each of us to think of her and send her positive healing thoughts. 

While all the women were together at the beach, we all talk. We talk A LOT! We talk about everything. YOU name it….., politics, the state of the world, our marriages, our families, and each other! In between talking we eat (very well), sleep, read and spend time at the beach. It is a wonderful time.

Life is a beach...

This year we spent some time reviewing our lives and then complaining about growing old.

Our bodies are really changing and none of us are very happy about these physical changes. 

By now you are wondering what this blog, that is about my upcoming pilgrimage to the Camino Santiago de Compostela, has to do with my recent beach trip????

Well, my dear friend made 2 profound statements that grounded me, and set me back on course for making this trip what it is meant to be. 

It is meant to be a time for introspection, spiritual mediation, reflection and nourishment of the soul.

I am fortunate to have a life that I love, people and family around me that love me unconditionally. My friend had a life changing event, that now makes her appreciate life even more. She reminded me that life may change but we need to embrace each stage.

She also encouraged me to walk the camino for myself. To take this time as a gift, and use it as it was meant to be spent, praying, reflecting and looking deep inside. She encouraged me to NOT publish the event on my blog or Facebook, but use the time for my spiritual growth and to deepen my faith in God.

Good words from a good friend.

Did we start too early??

I have not posted a blog in many weeks. We got waylaid, again, due to a serious health condition with my husband. He has recovered and built his strength back. It was a scary time, though.  That makes 2 serious events for him in the last few months. Scary when you think about being in a foreign land and something happening to your health. But this when I have to give up my control and rely on faith. At this time,  as in the walk, I am seeking peace and serenity. Hoping that nothing serious happens when we are walking through the North of Spain.  Life is precious and delicate. 

Being part of our local Camino group makes me so excited to take this trip! We have a nice mix of people that have walked the Camino in the last few years, or just a month ago. And there are those of us that are walking some time in the future. This month we had lots of new people. one of the members posted a small article in the Charlotte Observer. I love hearing the tales of those who have "walked the walk". The uniting element is a shared excitement, over the Camino de Santiago. Those that have walked the Camino share their stories and those naïve to the trail, sit on the edge of ours seats with  anticipation.  This group is unusual, in that we don’t really know each other outside the meeting room at REI. But when we are together, there is an undeniable bond. We respect each others fears, strengths and reasons for choosing to walk the Way of St James. We are all just fellow travelers.

My “vision” of our group, if we were to meet outside.

Now I am wondering if we did start “training too early. There are days when I don’t want to go want to walk to the store. ?Really do we have to walk 5 miles just to get some milk??  Our training has been a mixture of going to State/National/city parks hiking, along with in town walks (loooong walks) to get coffee, frozen yogurt or to run errands.

I follow the online forum :

Camino de Santiago de Compostela Where past pilgrims share and future pilgrims learn

On this forum I learn many things. A frequent topic is training for the trail. I am always surprised when people tell others or share the fact that they did not train at all.  The last thing I want to do on the pilgrimage, is fail. My biggest fear is the 1st day, when we will hike across the Pyrenees Mountains,

all have said that this is the hardest day, what if I want to quit on the 1st day!???

So this is where I am right now. I'm a little scared, still very excited and enthusiastic about The Way, but my enthusiasm for daily training has waned. 

Maybe we started training too soon. We are about 2 months away from starting the Camino. 

French Pyrenees

Please share YOUR thoughts about this blog entry.

Let’s take the “switchback"

This weekend we took our longest hike. 9.7 miles in the North Carolina Mountains. We hiked from Bass Lake, outside of Blowing Rock NC., to the “Fire Tower”. It was an amazing hike. We saw Mountain laurel, high meadows with free flowing blowing high grass, like waves on the ocean. It was mesmerizing. 

Bass Like 

There were many, many horses on the trail, with us. Gorgeous Palomino horses, among other types, having the time of their life. And just to make it that much more magical, their were people flying kites. We were now about 4+ miles into the hike and Vic and I were “high” on the hike, and loving it.

Hiking takes more head than heel. —EMMA ‘GRANDMA’ GATEWOOD, at age 67 first woman to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail (1955), 1887–1973.

Our path, off the Blue Ridge Parkway

We have not had a nice Spring in North Carolina, this year. It has been cold and wet. This bad weather has lingered into late May. But yesterday was one of those extraordinary days. The day was sunny, a slight wind, and low humidity. The Gods were shining upon us.

When we reached the top, you could see for miles, and miles. Based on our location you could see Grandfather Mountain, Boone and probably the edge of Tennessee. Another couple were also resting at the top. They were enjoying an afternoon glass of wine.

Vic and I had are usual snack, nuts, fruit and some chocolate. On the way down, our dog Nestle, found the “switchbacks”. Vic was hesitant to take them but we followed the dog and cut off  some distance. We invested in a Camel back water system for backpacks. It is a bladder filed with water that is inserted into the backpack. There is a tube that comes out of the pack that you drink from. Great invention!

We met with our local Camino group before our trip. One gentleman, Kevin, had just returned from his pilgrimage. He completed the entire trip in an astounding 25 days! Let me remind you that the entire Camino is over 800 km long. That is amazing! 

He gave us a few more pearls of wisdom. He told us what many already have, pack LIGHT! I am beginning to get the drift about packing light. He used his phone and did not take an Ipad or similar device. He told us about the daily evening service at the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela. Following the pilgrims prayer, there is a private tour of the relics of St James. I am so looking forward to the Mass at the Cathedral. 

The musical and visual highlight of the Mass is the synchronisation of the beautiful "Hymn to Santiago" with the spectacular swinging of the huge Botafumeiro, the famous thurible kept in the cathedral. Incense is burned in this swinging metal container, or "incensory".

Just above Mose Cone house on the Blue Ridge Parkway

As we continue to prepare for our Buen Camino, we are anticipating a spiritual adventure.

I love an adventure

The first real trip I remember, as a child, is a train trip from Philadelphia to Mobile Alabama. This trip was to see my Mothers cousin induction as a Arch Bishop(Archbishop Thomas Joseph Toolen, D.D). It was a very long train ride and I do not remember very much. But,I do remember that I got some new toys to play with along the trip, and when we returned to Philadelphia I left them on the train. I was so excited to see my Dad that I ran off the train without them.

I am the youngest of 7 children. My oldest sister is 16 years older. For the time, my Mom was quite old to be having children. Not at all unusual in todays culture. As a result, as I was going up, my parents were starting retirement and they wanted to start traveling. Our first trip was a short cruise to Bermuda.  This next trip was GREAT. We went on a Russian cruise ship to Leningrad (now St Petersburg), via Ireland, England, France and Germany. It was exciting and an unbelievable adventure for a 17 year old. I was walking around a communist country without my parents!! I got a first hand experience with history and it was thrilling.

After that trip I had the traveln' bug. The problem was that I was 17, still had college to attend, a job to find and a life to live.

Over the last 39 years I have been fortunate enough to travel the world. Most of my travels have been to eastern Europe and 1 trip to Eastern Africa. Many of the trips were extraordinary and most were just a nice vacation. Some silly, some scary but all are now a part of me. 

I will share just a few items , that I can remember….
Walking to the B&B on the Aran Island {Ireland},in the rain, that was “just around the bend”, which turned out to be close to a mile away. My niece and nephew were about 12 and nearly in tears, lugging their luggage down the lane, to the house. 
Missing a flight in France on the day that my Visa expired. That was the day that I learned that Immigration Control DOES speak more than 1 language when you get really mad at them.
Going from one end (John O’ Groats) to the other (the cliff of Dover) of England. 
Going Under the English Channel in a train. 
Getting off a train too soon in southern France, only to find out that it was going to cost me over $200 by cab to get to my destination. That one was just my stupidity, because it didn’t look that far on the map! I didn’t calculate the Alps.  Stupid!
Being stuck on the train entrance (steps) for 3 hours and being thankful to have a seat. That was because of a Italian train strike. 
Seeing hookers advertising in a window, in Amsterdam, with my 60 something Dad (awkward!).
Being married in Florence to my wonderful husband.
Having a policeman get in our car, in Africa, and insist that we go “down to the station”. Just going to say….. I was never going to the station, with anyone!!!.

These are just a few of the items in my collective memory, that I treasure. I look forward to adding to this collection of memories and adventures.

"I haven't been everywhere, but it's on

my list." --Susan Sontag

When I travel I always try to find some history, eat local food, seek cultural experiences and this time I hope to find some spiritual inspiration .

My next adventure will be different though. I will still seek history, embrace the culture, eat amazing local food but more importantly I will walk day in and day out with a mind that will be open to the physical and spiritual renewal.

The eyes of all look to you,    and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand    and satisfy the desires of every living thing. 
Psalm 145:15, 16. 

I heard it on the trail….

We have been on lots of great hikes, in the last 5 months. We have increased our stamina, muscles and strength.  Some outstanding ones have been; Turkey Pen Gap ( awesome, but long), South Mountain (confusing trail markers; we had to actually cross a river to continue on the trail), Morrow Mountain (bad for Vic because of his back pain), King Mountain and Crowders (a local favorite).

We still talk about whether we have the chutzpah to walk 100 miles in 7 days. Oh yeah, and did I mention the first day is across the Pyrenees, from France into Spain! It is 14 miles, mostly uphill. We have been told by friends that have already walked the entire Camino (~500 miles)  that it is a 8 hour day of hiking, mostly uphill. But I read the 

Camino de Santiago Forum, which gives me great insight into issues and questions about walking the Camino. It also provides me with encouragement.

 “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”

~Einstein~

Along the way we have met some lovely people.People that inspire and encourage us. We also met a man who told us about seeing bears on the trail. A man with a HUGH knife. When I asked him why he needed such a big knife he said “you never know when you’ll need it”. Yikes!  On the trail, we always take our dog, Nestle. He LOVES hiking. He especially loves swimming in streams/rivers along the way.  Whenever we walk, he walks twice as far. Running ahead, then circling back, two or more times.  When he returns to the car, he is out cold for the ride home. The walks have really helped Vic and I get in better shape.

This is me about 15 pounds heavier! Hiking and weight watchers has helped that!!! Vic has also lost about 25 pounds over the last 5 months. He also  has started working out at the gym and watching what he eats.  Nestle is wondering why he has to work so hard and get in shape for a pilgrimage that he is NOT going on!

Vic and I are extremely grateful for what we have, and what we are trying to achieve. You can never take your health for granted. It can be snatched away in a heartbeat. Literally!. 

Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.

 -Thomas Jefferson

From the bitterness of disease man learns the sweetness of health.

 -Catalan Proverb

And finally a quote that sums up our work so far..

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination. -Tommy Lasorda

May you have the energy and enthusiasm that our sweet Nestle has life!!

FEAR, what are we afraid of??

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear."

Rosa Parks 

Rosa Parks had reason to be fearful, but she was not.She stood up to authority and won a great victory for herself and others. The past week has been filled with fear. Fear in Boston, fear and grief in Texas, and then there was a poison letter sent to the White House. 
All of this “breaking news” had Americans glued to CNN.  What is it about these events that makes us want to know more?
I was one of those people watching CNN. I couldn’t stop! 
But this time we saw something different. The people of Boston showed strength. BOSTON STRONG. 

I am not immune to fear. 
"Fear is the ability to recognize danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it.”

I am thankful that I am not a fearful person. I think it is because I am stubborn. When I lived downtown, my condo was robbed 3 times. The last time, they kicked the door down. By that time I was just MAD that it kept happening. I literally took the door and leaned a chair against it. I was not going to be scared away. In 1986, terrorists were bombing Paris. My sister and I were due to fly to Paris, everyone in our group canceled. Not us! We went and we had a great time.
When I am afraid, I use this slogan. 
Fear is lack of faith….
This slogan reminds me that I am not always in control and I need to let my fear go. I can only control myself, not others. I need to give my fear to God. Let him worry about it!
 I don’t like the use of fear by the church. I don’t fell like it is done as much today as when I was younger. I will always remember the nuns telling us that every day in hell was a light year long. I was only 7 or 8, but I understood the concept of a light year. THAT really scared me.
Now, I am old enough to have the courage and not to be afraid. But I hope that I still have curiosity about life.
Someone said to me today, “ fear is the world we live in now”. That is a sad truth. 

I too am learning how to sail my ship.. 

What does this have to do with The Camino? Nothing except my continued self searching of feelings and spirituality.
People fear God, people fear not loving God, and I am learning not to fear my feelings about my God and my relationship with him.

The Fear of God~

If you should rise from Nowhere up to Somewhere,
From being No one up to being Someone,
Be sure to keep repeating to yourself
You owe it to an arbitrary god
Whose mercy to you rather than to others
Won’t bear to critical examination.
Stay unassuming. If for lack of license
To wear the uniform of who you are,
You should be tempted to make up for it
In a subordinating look or toe,
Beware of coming too much to the surface
And using for apparel that was meant
To be the curtain of the inmost soul.

robert frost

Road to Salvation or Ruin?

I heard this quote on NPR this week.

 "I couldn't have done it when I was younger. I had the energy, but not the knowledge, and not the knowledge of myself, because Dante is worried about himself. Dante is in a spiritual crisis, and I think you have to have been in one of your own to understand what he's talking about. 

He's seeking absolution, redemption and certainty.

 He's seeking a knowledge that his life has been worthwhile. Which I still am."

I am not a writer, or a poet and I am particularly bad with the written English language.

So, I feed off of others to write this blog. 

This quote is in reference to Dante's Inferno and the difficulty in translating it to English, by the author Clive James. It was very interesting to me. I have not read the book. But I have seen the the Duomo in Florence. The art is an unbelievable representation of the book by Dante that describes  hell, heaven and redemption.

Within the Florentine Duomo, and you look up and see Dante Before the City of Florence by Domenico di Michelino (1465). These frescos/paintings fill the dome of the church. They are a circular story told in very vivid  scenes, from the Divine Comedy. 

If you were a simple working man in the 1400's in Florence and you saw these graphic images and the church reinforcing these thoughts, what would YOU think?? 

My point is this…. I am

"... seeking absolution,redemption and certainty.

 He's seeking a knowledge that his life has been worthwhile. Which I still am."

And as I grow older I have grown more confident in myself. I also have become wiser but not less curiosity about my faith. I wonder, if the church used these images to manipulate the masses, what are they doing now that I am not aware of?

Vic and I have this indescribable need to walk the path of St James.  I don't think that God will suddenly take time for me and answer all of my questions. But I do look forward to having time to reflect on these questions and meet others that have the same quest.

Enlightenment, that would be a bonus.

"Here before me now is my picture, my map, of a place and therefore of myself . . . much of its reality is based on my own shadows, my inventions.” M.f. K Fisher

We can not forget the past...

Today is  Yom HaShoah

 It was established to remember the Holocaust and the six million Jews who perished.   Today  is the anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.

"Hope is like peace. It is not a gift from God. It is a gift only we can give one another."
Elie Wiesel

What is the does this day, and this man have to do with my blog about preparing to walk the Way of Saint James in Spain??

Quite a bit, when you enter my brain and the path of faith that I am on. 
Elie Wiesel is a man that I greatly admire. He was a prisoner in multiple German war camps. Barely a young man, he came out of Auschwitz, Buna, and Buchenwald concentration camps and taught people about what happened there, so we would never forget. He was also the driving force behind the US Holocaust  Memorial Museum in Washington DC. Again, so we would not forget that horrible page in our history.  I was reminded of him today, and the writings and devotion to his faith and the history of millions of Jews . He too believes in God, but has struggled to make sense of his past, with his relationship with God.

Another man I admire is in the news too. Nelson Mandela. 

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
― 
Nelson Mandela

These men work to spread peace and yet they were both victims of history. Their strength and faith made them better people and moved them to be statesmen of peace.
I grow my faith through these examples.

I am also feeling better about my own religion, Catholicism. It seems that our new leader, Pope Frances is making movements that are positive and progressive. We still 
have to wait to see if he will follow his word with true actions. 
He has included the poor, and the marginalized in his works, thus far. These gestures are a real sign of change in the Vatican. Now we need to see what actions that follow his words, and if he will address the BIG issue of women in the church.
That will be an action that will really change my mind.